A friend came to me to ask for help for her son. He never came out of his room except for food and toilet necessities. She was worried, and he wasn't talking.When I visited him I decided to 'play it cool' and not tell him how he should be in any way. The result was frankly, amazing. The kid - about 15 at the time - was milk-white and hesitant to tell me what he was doing on the computer.
His room was...ah... totally PC. There was basically nothing in the room rhat did not support his PC habit. But when this 'uncool' gawky kid told me that he was one of the world leaders in his favourite online game, things started to make sense - in a 'cyber' sort of a way.
He was so good at the game that he had a worldwide team of cyberwarriors working to his gameplan for world domination. He was in constant contact by chat with hundreds of like minded kids. They looked up to him. They respected him. They talked about him. Clearly, he was way ahead in points on what a teenage boy needs in peer support, respect and testing of his abilities. The only difference was that it was cyberworld. Would he have gotten this support outside of cyberspace. I doubt it. he wasn't in any way what kids would call cool, and when you aren't cool, it isn't cool - your life, that is!
When I saw the pic accompanying this article I remembered his fridge. It was the smallest he could buy and it had the usual TV dinner garbage in it.
This USB powered minifridge seems to be the ultimate for the cyberwarror/geek!
Whare is he now? He's about 24. He has come out of the closet/bedroom. He has bought himself new stylish clothes. He has a good job advising people on their PC problems. And... he has a girlfriend.
Cybergeek mothers - fear not -time does heal! Remember the most important thing a kid needs is acceptance, support and boundaries.
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